Don't Use Your Dead Dad To Rebuild Your Brand

Of all the things I thought I would never have to tell people not to do, Don't Use Your Dead Dad To Sell Shit was, well, not even on the list, because honestly, what kind of creepy sociopath would you have to be to think that thirty seconds of you looking sad, coupled with the beyond-the-grave words of a deceased parent, would make us forget the epic slut parade to which you subjected America?

This kind of creepy sociopath, apparently:



Dear World,

He's sorry he banged all those skanks and his dead dad wants you to buy some Nike products. Thanks for your support!