Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Ultimate Pantyhose Don'ts Edition

Chris Pine and NO
Chris Pine and a woman dressed as a Don't, via ONTD

Of the things that Daisy, Roxy and I thought would happen when we started this blog, I would say “Become internet source for pantyhose questions” would be far far down the list. And yet our two posts about hosiery we thought would be uncontroversial and obvious to the rest of the world, and they turned out to be anything but. And then, we started noticing with a mixture of amazement, horror, and hilarity that we were getting a whole lot of hosiery related searches bringing people to Don’t Do That. Below are just some of the actual searches that we got, with (because we are here to serve) our answers:

Can you wear pantyhose with open toed shoes?
How many times do we need to say this? NO.

Nice summer shoes that aren't open toed?
Excellent question! I am a big fan of the ballet flat, and I really love the ones from London Sole -- they’re a little pricey, but they fit great, they’re comfortable, they come in a lot of adorable styles, and they often have sales. But there are lots of other ballet flat options, like these darling Kate Spade ones, these cute star ones, and these embellished ones. You could also go with espadrilles, like these, some nice slingbacks like these, or something in a nice summery color, like these.

What do you do if you have ugly legs, can you wear pantyhose?
I don’t even know where to start with this one.
No, actually, I do: one disturbing theme that showed up in some of the pantyhose related comments and many of the searches is a big level of body hatred. People think their own legs are ugly, or someone else's legs are ugly, and are looking for ways to hide themselves (or other people) behind clothes. People, pantyhose may be your security blanket for facing the world, but there's really no difference between what your legs look like bare and what they look like encased in sheer nylon, except they're shinier. Put down the shiny and easily torn blanket, embrace an exfoliator, and learn to love your legs.

Can you wear open toed shoes to work?
Well, this depends on your workplace. I live and work in California, and even though I work in a relatively conservative industry, everyone I know wears open toed shoes to work except on a very formal occasion. In more conservatively dressed places in the US or the world, maybe not. The best rule of thumb here is to not wear them at first, and see what the other women in your office do. Don't wear them to court, don't wear them if you work in the Pentagon, don't wear them to a professional job interview. And when you do wear them to work, please make sure your toenails are well groomed.

Do you wear pantyhose to a summer wedding? (Note, we get versions of this one repeatedly)
Again, this depends on where you live -- I never would, especially if I'm wearing a summery wedding appropriate dress, but if you live in the South and your grandmother would swoon if you showed up without hose, then you might. But then again, if you live in the South, it’s probably in the 90s during any summer wedding, and so you may die from heat during the wedding and do you really want the bride to have to deal with your heatstroke during her wedding? I don’t think so.

Pantyhose feet wedding
Elephant nose commencement!
...dude, I don’t even know.

Why don't women wear white tights?
Because they make women look like they’re trying to look like a little girl on Easter Sunday. They also make your legs look stumpy, and make any shoes look ugly.

Where can I wear white pantyhose?
NOWHERE.

I get blisters when I don't wear hose, how do I solve that?
I am glad that you asked! Our commenter eee discussed this in the comments of the last pantyhose post, and we thank her for her wisdom. She told us of her great luck with the Band Aid Blister Block (you can get a coupon on their website right now!), and then while looking it up to try to buy some for myself a few weeks ago, I discovered that Dr. Scholl’s also makes a similar product, Dr. Scholl’s Blister Defense Stick. I bought the Dr. Scholl’s one in my locak drugstore, and in the interests of science, tested it out with some of my shoes that always give me blisters. And lo, it worked! I am a convert.

I hate white tights on women (so do we, so do we)
But how do you feel about them on men? We may have a fellow who'd like to meet you...

My husband wears pantyhoses
We're okay with this, as long as he isn't wearing them with open toed shoes.
(note, this searcher should get together with the searcher from this morning who was looking for something related to pantyhose husband "must wear".)

Do women like men who wear pantyhose?
We're sure some do. But while we believe there's someone out there for everyone, you probably shouldn't mention it on the first date.

Should you wear pantyhose with open toe booties in winter?
You should not wear either of these things in any season.

Can I wear opaque pantyhose with sandals?
NO. NO NO NO.

Do I wear pantyhose with peep toe shoes at my wedding?
NO.

Sarah Palin pantyhose
...

Fat pantyhose ladies
Daisy says: At first I thought this referred to ladies made of pantyhose, but maybe it's actually a search for plus-size hose? With the 'ladies' tacked on to differentiate form the men's pantyhose?

As for me, this search just makes me laugh and laugh. Sometimes I think of it in the middle of the day and laugh.

Are pantyhose and open toed shoes back in?
BACK in? THERE WAS NEVER AN IN TO BE BACK IN.

Should you wear hose with open toe shoes at weddings?
NO.

dirty pantyhose feet
Daisy likes this one, because her tights get discolored from the soles of my shoes, and she doesn't know how to fix it. Readers, any suggestions?

wearing pantyhose for running
Go for it, as long as your sneakers aren't open toed.

Do you wear white pantyhose with all white?
Not unless you are a nurse in the 1950s.

shrunken men lost in pantyhose
We don't want to know. No seriously. Please don't tell us.

Do professional women still wear pantyhose in Chicago?
Winner for most specific search ever! Though I think that the answer is yes to this, because I have a friend who worked in Chicago a few years ago where they were required to wear hose in the summer even when it was unbearably hot. Chicago readers, please tell us if that’s not true.

Women who wear pantyhose when it's hot outside
Was this supposed to end with “...are INSANE!”? Look, it is the middle of July, and in many places that means it's hot as hell. Why would anyone voluntarily wear pantyhose in the extreme heat? It doesn't make you look more put together, and it certainly doesn't make your legs look better, it just makes you look sadly behind the times and that you will need to stand under an air conditioner all day to recover from your brief time outside.

Readers, do you have any other hosiery related questions for us? Even if you don't tell us, we'll see your questions turn up in searches soon, so we're glad to help. We are not pantyhose (wow, that word has lost all meaning now) haters here, we just think that there is a distinct time and a place for them, and that time and place is never when wearing open toed shoes (or, for that matter, shorts -- another thing that we thought we'd never have to say).

Belated note to all of the creepy creepy pantyhose fetishists who keep commenting anonymously to this year+ old post: All of your creepy comments make it less, not more, likely that anyone will ever wear pantyhose again. So keep at it, creepy dudes who like pantyhose, you're doing our work for us!

40 comments:

  1. Do professional women still wear pantyhose in Chicago?

    From my experience, it depends on the job. One place where I worked (in the Chicago suburbs) said that hose must ALWAYS be worn if a skirt or dress was worn. Also, open-toed shoes were a no-no. This was all in the handbook. I have a feeling that someone who used to work there was a foot/leg fetishist, and the hose-all-the-time and no-toes rule had been put in place to thwart unwanted workplace advances. I dunno.

    Another office didn't care one way or another. From what I observed, the younger crowd went sans hose, and the older crowd wore them more regularly. However, when it got really hot in the summer everyone seemed to leave the hose at home. (In the winter, tights were the fashion just because it got so damn cold.) I always wore pants, as I had to walk 10 blocks from the L to my office and I wasn't doing that trek in heels.

    Glad the blister block stick worked for you!

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  2. And when you do wear them to work, please make sure your toenails are well groomed.
    It would also be nice if hair was removed from toes.

    How do you feel about Hose Without Toes? I feel that you can get away with that with open/peep toes in the winter.

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  3. Thank you, eee, I was hoping that you would chime in about Chicago! And thanks for the blister block info, it's magical.

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  4. I wear nylons with open-toed shoes and sandals all the time and the guys go crazy over it. Know what? I don't care what the fashion police say, I'm going to keep doing it.

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  5. Fashion police??? Lame!!! It should be wrong not to wear pantyhose with open toed shoes.I wish more women were like Michelle. Pantyhose and open toed shoes look FANTASTIC! Pantyhose are the most sexiest piece of clothing a woman can wear. And they look great with shorts. womens who wear skirts with no hose look funny. SO Ladies..Paint those toes and wear those hose.

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  6. "Pantyhose are the most sexiest piece of clothing a woman can wear."

    I was going to believe this for a second until I saw the next sentence, "And they look great with shorts," and then I knew you were joking.

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  7. Behind the times? Go ahead and live with the delusion that what was before cannot possibly be better than what you are doing. I agree that Michele looks terrific but then she looks terrific with bare arms too and I don't think too many of us are emulating that look at work.

    I think for most of us bare legs with (with or without bandaids) are tacky when worn with dress shoes. The very fact that this blister stick stuff exists should be a reminder that leather shoes should really be worn with some sort of textile insulation.

    IMHO, a garter-belt and stockings are much more comfortable in summer heat than pants or shoes with no hose...not to mention a real turn-on to any man who might become aware of your hosiery preferences.

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  8. I am totally enjoying the return of our creepy pantyhose trolls.

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    Replies
    1. What a shitty misinformative blog you have here. Why are you trying to make women less sexy and appealing by trying to brainwash them into your way of thinking? Women basically dress a certain way to draw attention from the opposite sex!Beauty has never been about total comfort people its about looking sexy and beautiful.So really the question here is what do MEN like to see!!! I firmly believe if you were to take a poll you would find that MOST men like a woman with silky legs. Also very nice how dizzy razor calls people trolls for having an opinion just love it lmao . Keep wearing them ladies you will get more dates trust me :)

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    2. Right, because dates are all women want. /sarcasm.

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  9. Donna From Philly7/15/10, 9:53 PM

    I wear Pantyhose everyday. The fabrics today make them easier to put on and more comfortable to wear then in the 70’s & 80’s. On avg I get 6 wears or more out of tha newly opened package. I wear them in the summer with short & Snorks, and I wear them with pants and skirts other days. I also wear Open Toe Sandals with Pantyhose. Why do you think they have "SANDAL FOOT PANTYHOSE"? I like the way they make my legs look and feel, and I have received nice compliments from men, and some ladies when I have a skrit or shorts on. To prove my point I went to the local mall with my husband (who loves to see me and other lady in hose) and walked through with skirt and bare legs, and not one person made a remark or gave me a second look. The next day we went back to the same mall, and this time I had Tan color silky hose on, and a skirt, (I wear shorts with hose as well) and my husband walked a few steps back, and men kept doing double takes my husband told me. When we went to the food court, 2 different guys came up and asked for my name and phone #.
    Think of hose as make-up for the legs. If you take a 10 – 30 minutes in the morning to makeup your face and do your hair, and pick an outfit, then why not take an extra 5 minutes to makeup your legs.
    More and More younger women are wearing hose again, and they are showing up on the fashion runways too.
    They are making a come back. All be it slow, I do see more women wearing them latly.

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    1. Dona From Philly

      You are soooooo right about us men seeing hose clad legs as make-up for the legs. Very, Very, true point. Thank you.

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  10. I'm trying to figure out how one wears pantyhose with Snorks. Moreso, I'm wondering how one wears Snorks in the first place.

    (Sorry, Donna, but that typo [it IS a typo, right?] just cracked me up.)

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  11. This is the funniest damn shit i've read in a long time!

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  12. Any woman who says that paantyhose are a no-no in any and all situations really need to look at their legs in the mirror. If you are in the top 3% of women who truly have perfect legs, then by all means - GO BARE! For the remaining 97% - no amount of exfoliator (or sand-blasting, for that matter) can ever make your legs look nice enough to go bare. It's just reality. There are many, many ultra-sheer styles out there that are both comfortable and cool enough to make a world of difference. Nobody says you have to wear the thick, super shiny dance tights, but sheer hose close to your skin tone with just a LITTLE shine look superb. Men like a nicely hosed leg FAR more than a veiny, uneven, perhaps wrinkly leg. That means some of you late 20-somethings!

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  13. FYI to all random anonymous strangers who are obsessed with pantyhose and find us through their pantyhose fetish searches: We genuinely don't care whether men like a nicely hosed leg better. We don't really believe you either, because we know lots of men and none of them care about pantyhose one little bit, but even if that were true, we wouldn't care. As much as it may shock some people, we live our lives to look and feel great for ourselves, and not to be eye candy for any random men out there. Wearing pantyhose neither looks nor feels great, and while we do it in certain situations (job interviews, funerals, etc.) we abstain most of the time, and ALL of the time when we have open toed shoes on. But thanks, random pantyhose fetish people, for your support.

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    Replies
    1. So you would never wear pantyhose for your boyfriend husband? I find it soo strange that women who hate pantyhose believe all women hate pantyhose. A women who loves pantyhose started a company called Sosenuous making old school pantyhose that are 100% sheer to waist nylon no cotton gusset. I'll never understand why women that hate pantyhose think all women do. Can some women please explain this.
      Thanks

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    2. Well, believe this... I'm a guy, and I love when women wear pantyhose, stockings, or tights with their skirts and heels. Besides looking great on their legs and having an ultra-feminine appearance, I really appreciate how smooth and clean they look vs. bare legs. Definitely makes a positive statement, and it tells me that the woman really took the time to care about her appearance and wanted to dress properly for the occasion.

      I can completely understand that some women feel self-conscious from time to time, and wearing your choice of hose really raises women's confidence, I've personally seen. Ladies, for those of you reading this and debating back and forth about it, my suggestion is to ask yourself "Who are you dressing for?" If it's an occasion where it's completely casual, then ok, you probably wouldn't wear pantyhose to it. However, I would say that anything where you have to stop and think about how you might dress (say, anything from a decent restaurant on one end to the most formal of occasions on the other), I would say the best choice is to wear pantyhose or tights. If you don't want the panty part at the top, then just go with hold-up thigh-high stockings, or wear a garter belt.

      Personally, I think it's a great look, and would encourage women to wear them more. It's obvious that a lot of guys like them on this blog, and I think it's fairly representative of men as a whole population.

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  14. Boy did this help me. I am going to a wedding, have a pewter colored metallic lo sheen fabric suit, pewter shoes and dreaded the thought of skin colored legs. Hose will definitely finish off the outfit, sheer, shimmery, just like the suit. Have toeless pumps but they are Bruno Magli and no one will be looking at my toes!

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  15. Go ahead, self-proclaimed fashion god. Most men LOVE looking at a woman in hose with open toe heels.

    So you sit there in your pantsuit and absolute certainty about what is sartorially correct. We're looking at the pantyhosed toes. (and white is nice, too!).

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  16. yeah, i find these comments to be interesting, as usual. Blogs like this bring together two very, shall we say, divergent groups together. Guys like me who have a fetish for women in hose and then women who are looking for fashion advice and might even be unaware that men enjoy looking at their shiny feet, legs, etc. Thus the endless "hose in open toed shoes" arguments. God bless the internet!

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  17. Men (me) Love Luv Love shiny sexy things... Most guys will say no, I don't like pantyhose. Until you show them a photo gallery. Over & Over again 85%+ of the guys choose the women wearing the pantyhose or stockings over the bare leg... ROFL it doesn't matter what type of shoe you are wearing unless you are a snob..author/writer of this blog and many comments.

    For those guys (ME) absolutely absessed with pantyhose / satin \ silk we know why men choose them subconsciously, time and time again. Because they enhance the natural beauty the woman already has.
    This blog is so far jaded it's as far out as the blogs that say women don't wear makeup!!! ROFL. Stop being snobbish and do your own test.
    You purport yourself as some kind of fashion knowledgable person yet fail to see the HOTTEST designers / runway shows from New York to Milan are all designing with pantyhose!

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  18. Women who say they don't care to be eye candy to men is because they are a lesbian. I agree with the person posting above that said most men like it. Every time I wear them guys give me more attention. I find that guys want girls to be girls not this politicly lesbian correct society that we live in. Posted by a 32 year old degree educated female that knows.

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  19. Kate Middleton said it best when she said "Bare legs are so 2010." When she dresses to impress, she looks like a lady - not like some teenager going clubbing in Brooklyn. And she does it, to the fashionista's horror, in sheer hose.

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    Replies
    1. God Bless the Duchess!

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  20. I recently read a blog by some fashionista that advised a girl with ugly legs not to wear hose. She just advised her to wear a dress that was suitably outlandish as to insure that nobody would notice her legs.

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  21. Why can't you were pantyhose or thigh highs with open toed shoes. there is really no answer as to why..

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    1. As a guy, it doesn't bother me in the least to see a woman wear any type of nylons with open toe shoes. Personally, I think it adds a bit of allure and mystique, as sometimes it's hard to tell if the color is nude and matches the skin tone well. The peep toe style heels in particular has a way of not showing too much (if you were self-conscious, for some reason), but yet gives a bit of a confident look to show off finely manicured toes.

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  22. I am a guy, and I think women look sexier wearing either pantyhose or stockings. I don't think they are a crutch at all. Nylons enhance the legs, simple as that. If you want to call my desire to see women sexy legs in hose as something "creepy" then so be it. But I know lots of guys out there feel the way I do.
    And by the way, that woman in the picture on the top of your page looks great; I have seen women wear hose with open toed shoes many times. I also think it's sexy. But maybe I have a fetish...But then again there are many men who will agree with me.

    I'm tired of self-proclaimed fashionistas dictating what men and women should or should not wear. Stop judging.

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  23. If I were you I would just shut this blog right down because you clearly know nothing about sexuality or the opposite sex ladies. You probably like to rock the hairy leg look maybe you braid the leg hair as well? At any rate you know NOTHING about fashion so stop trying to change the way women dress just because you have no man , hate the world and just hate to have a thin layer of super sexiness wrapped around your stumps ;)

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  24. The only dont I see in that picture at the top of the page is the jackass wearing jeans and the douchebag shoes hahaha that made me laugh for a good while. Thanks!

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  25. Pantyhose..Hmmm. Yes by all means wear them

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  26. Nylons pro men here http://www.hkey1.weblahko.sk

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  27. That's one well dressed woman on that picture. Of course you should wear nylons with open toed shoes. Boney toes are not as hot as you think.

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  28. ALL THESE COMMENTS ARE MISSING SOME IMPORTANT POINTS, at least regarding opaque tights (as opposed to sheer pantyhose)

    1. For those of us who wax our legs and/or cannot shave every day because it makes your hair grow like crazy (holla Indian, Middle Eastern, Mediterranean, and Latina women!), opaque tights offer a nice way to look cute and feminine and cover up on the days when your leg hair is too short to wax or remove cleanly, but still can interfere with a clean looking leg.

    2. Tights are often great because you can wear a shorter dress or skirt with tights and still feel comfy and cute and not overexposed, when the same outfit with bare legs would be a little too much.

    During the summer, we wear skirts and dresses all the time. But unless you have very fine, submissive body hair, you need a little leeway in between hair removals. Tights are there to help us, period!

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  29. Wow, what a dillusional hose-hater you are. You will ALWAYS look better with well-matched hose, just like any other accessory.

    If you are dressing for the fashionistas (especially the Gay Men) then your so-called rules might apply. If you want to attract men, go with the hose.

    It is not a question of yes or no, you simply have to get the right shade and sheerness.

    Guys do prefer them, especially the very-sheer natural colors with strappy sandals.

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  30. Some of these answers are crap. I am a guy and I find tights/pantyhose with open toe shoes extremely good looking. You know what doesn't look good? uggs, flip flops, I mean come on. You woman take pantyhose away like it it liberating, then go dress like you don't care...and then complain when the girl at the bar gets all the attention because she is wearing hosiery....make no sense

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  31. Winter wedding in Chicago. Wedding starts at 2:00. Thoughts on black tights?

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  32. Ladies, from a man's point of view, when in any doubt whatsoever, go with wearing pantyhose, tights, or thigh-high nylons. They finish off a look so well, and really make the statement that you truly care about your appearance and hold yourself in high regard. Not to mention, they are also very alluring and attractive to men in general.

    Think about it for a minute... have you ever seen a woman that is wearing some type of hose to any occasion, that was sitting there worried about how her legs looked? I can't think of one, as she surely felt more confident and didn't have to worry about being self-conscious in the least. The point is, wearing any type of pantyhose, stockings/thigh-high nylons, or tights is one of the most feminine things to do, and ladies want to feel feminine. Kinda like the Shania Twain song "Man, I feel like a woman!"

    And look at it this way... the worst case scenario is if you wear them, and then get to where you're going and end up having such a tough time with them that you can't take it anymore, you can always end up taking them off while you're there. It's not like their permanently affixed to your legs, so give it a shot, and if not, make an excuse to hit the bathroom and take them off.

    Feel free to contact me if I can help you more - malibu7679@aim.com

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