Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Tuesday Quickies: Old Lady Edition

Oh lord, you guys, my college reunion is this weekend. I've been looking at my old scrapbooks and wishing I'd had a better idea of how damn cute I was back then. Screw changing history; if I had a time machine I'd go back and tell my college self, "You aren't going to have those boobs forever, you know. For god's sake, have more sex."

So in honor of my decrepitude, some links (very) loosely themed around youth and young womanhood.

I don't know how goddamn many times I'm going to need to say this, but your vulva doesn't need to be pretty. Vajazzling is just another way to get you to Spend. More. Money. Don't do it.
The kind of girl who ices her muffin (Not That Kind of Girl)

Don't believe a phone can make or break friendships (again: Your money. They want it.)
Microsoft's Kin Ponders the Nature of Friendship (AdFreak)

Don't look like a moron when you give a commencement speech:
Ann Curry speaks at Wheaton College...but which one? (Boston Globe)

I don't think these shots would work if you were actually drinking beer:
Amazing Beer Pong Shots (YouTube via Sports Guy)

Don't forget that corporate America is evil in many subtle ways:
Your Office Chair is Killing You (BusinessWeek)
Your Commute is Ruining Your Happiness (Scienceblogs)

Don't be afraid to just tell a blowhard to stuff it, but if you need help, use these:
Stop Talking (Design Within Reach)

Don't stress about dinner. The internet has you covered:
What the Fuck Should I Make For Dinner

Don't be cynical about love. Remember that romance can happen anytime, anywhere:
Groom-to-be pops the question at Whole Foods (Boston Globe)

Don't use empty boxes and a piece of plywood as your coffee table:
Neil Gaiman's Cthulhu-esque table (made by Chul An Kwak)

Don't forget your towel:
Towel Day (Wikipedia)


  1. I'm in love with that Cthulhu table. I love that he visualizes it dancing when his back is turned.

    Also, totally dig that you're not onboard with the ol' vajazzle, but how can it possibly be demeaning or unfeminist to make your own choice to do something with your body? The way I see it, if what I do with my body doesn't infringe on anyone else's right to do what they want with their body, then surely I must be on the side of the righteous.

    After all, being able to use and enjoy our bodies as we please is one of the great victories of feminism. So why should someone give that up just because someone with a thing for prescriptive body politics tells them that what they want to do is "part of the problem"?

  2. The DDT braintrust (such as it is) actually got together to craft this response, because we feel like the idea that "If I want to do it to my body, and I'm a woman, it's feminist by definition" is both difficult to contradict and totally, totally wrong.

    Let's take Heidi Montag as our example. She chose (and has vociferously defended her choice) to have surgery altering her breasts, brow, nose, cheeks, lips, chin, ears, stomach, thighs, butt, and the curvature of her back. By your definition, this was a feminist choice. But while we don't begrudge her for doing whatever the fuck she wants with her body, it doesn't make her body-alteration a feminist act. It makes her a woman who totally bought into the superficial, image-based bullshit that she got sold. We're not going to tell her she can't do it, but we are going to be sad for her that she felt like she had to.

    Plus, you know, we never actually said that vajazzling is unfeminist; we just said it's stupid. If you want to hear about feminism, you'll have to check Sexist Beatdown. (Please do. Even if you totally disagree with them, they are hilarious.)

  3. Absolutely fair enough. Vajazzling isn't un-feminist; nobody feels like they have to do it, because it's stupid; it is stupid, I'd be the first to admit. I found it surprisingly fun, though. All the more surprising because I usually hate vapid trends like this!