Monday, June 21, 2010

Don't Wear This!

So I've actually had a link to the above abomination for a while now. I was going to put it in the Quickies but figured there was no hurry, because honestly, it was so ridiculous that any horror over it would be purely academic. No one was actually going to wear something called half-pants, right?


Well, apparently I need to stop underestimating the bad taste of the masses, because I saw a woman wearing those suckers last week. Unfortunately, I was on the bus and didn't get a picture, so you'll just have to take my word for it. They had the miniscule improvement of being all black instead of multi-patterned, but were otherwise very clearly a terrifying shorts-pants hybrid.

I immediately emailed Brownie and Roxie with the question, "This is a sign of the apocalypse, right?"

Roxie responded, "At what point do 'Signs of the Apocalypse' just become THE APOCALYPSE? Because I think we're there."

That's right: forget the earthquakes, tornados and that pesky catastrophic oil spill. This unholy alliance of two forms of legwear is the true beginning of the end times.

(Brownie's response was succinct: "OH MY GOD. DON'T DO THAT DON'T DO THAT DON'T DO THAT.")

Look, I know none of our confident and stylish regular readers are going to make this grave sartorial mistake, but people sometimes find us through keyword searches, so for those of you surfing in: Do. Not. Wear. Half. Pants. Think of the tan lines! The potential for chafing! Strangers asking if you couldn't afford the whole pair of pants! The hideous wrongness of having one leg hanging out and the other covered! Just pick shorts or pants. It's not that difficult.


  1. Oh. Oh no no no no no.

  2. I'm slightly disappointed none of the pantyhose defenders feel quite as strongly about the right of all women to wear half pants. I mean, what qualifications do you have to claim these half pants are wrong?

    Oh, right. You have eyes.