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Here at Don't Do That, we know the world can be a scary and confusing place. Luckily, we're here to help. From time to time, we will be answering your questions on anything. Absolutely anything. Don't believe us? Check out our first question:

Hey Don't Do That Girls!

What are your thoughts about work pooping? Especially in a unisex, single toilet, bathroom that everyone shares? I just left the bathroom and was unfortunate enough to have followed a foul work pooper, and it always seems that around 2-3 pm every damn day I end up going to pee in a gas chamber. I say DON'T! Pooping is a private bathroom sort of thing (unless you had bad Taco Bell for lunch.) And in addition I am terrified I will leave the bathroom and someone will be waiting to go in and think it was ME!

Love the site.

Yours,
Please Poop in Private

Daisy: OK! So what is our opinion on this very important matter?
Brownie: I have strong feelings that no one should feel like they can't poop at work. That's just not good for you to hold it! However, I think that if you stink up the joint, and it's one of those single stall shared bathrooms, you could just stick a "Being Cleaned" or "Toilet being fixed" or something sign on the door for about 10 minutes.
Failing that, try to make sure there are a few matchboxes in the bathroom, and everyone should strike a match when they're done. It gets rid of the smell like magic.
Roxy: Yes to all of this. And for heaven's sake, leave the fan on. It's not as if you don't know you stunk up the place, and it's just polite.
Daisy: Or bring in one of those odor neutralizers and leave it on the counter. Or! Find a hidden bathroom, which is what I did when I worked at a hospital. There was one at the end of a dead-end hallway that I think only the cleaning staff and I knew about.
Brownie: Yes, that is another idea. Though, sometimes you don't know what's coming! I have had some surprise poops, okay?
Roxy: And if there's air freshener to spray, please oh PLEASE don't overdo it. The only thing worse than poo smell is poo smell with Country Garden scent over it. Talk about unpleasant.
Brownie: Oh yes.
Daisy: Oof, that's why they should go for the neutralizers, which have less of a heavy scent, to avoid it being two bad smells.
Roxy: My friend Kastarbuck also suggested the hidden bathroom - she works in a hospital and heads to the basement. But in a smaller office building like the one I'm in, you have exactly two options. My office is about four feet from the lesser of the two staff bathroom evils, and I don't have a problem with work poopers. UNLESS they don't leave the fan on or they spray awful awful air freshener (or Lysol, which is even worse) on top of the stinkiness. Then I get cranky and sad.
Daisy: And hey, if all else fails, there's always the option of sneaking into another office/building. Make yourself a ninja pooper!
Roxy: Bonus points for stealthy costumes.
Brownie: Love it. However! No one should have poop shame. Pooping is normal! Everyone does it! It's not a big deal if your officemates know that you pooped. You just don't want them to have to smell it.
Roxy: Yes! No poop shame. In fact, I just had a conversation like this with a coworker this morning. Another person went into the bathroom right after she came out, and she had a moment of poop shame, before the second coworker assured her it was fine - and that she'd grown up with four brothers. We then decided that Everyone Poops should be mandatory bathroom material. Of course, someone else I work with makes her officemate drive her to the officemate's house if she has to poop during the day. And, you know, Marshall Eriksen would check into a hotel.
Daisy: That officemate is going way above the call of duty (or 'doody,' if you want to be juvenile, which I am stunned we have mostly managed not to be.)
Brownie: Heeeee
Daisy: Yeah, also, if you have a baby? Poop becomes a complete non-issue. Like, we actually praise the baby when she poops. Not that I'm suggesting you do this with coworkers. Probably.

OFFICIAL DON'T: Don't be afraid to poop in the office bathroom, but don't forget to leave the fan on and de-smell-ify as you see fit. Within reason.

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