Tuesday Quickies: Hide your Wife edition

Don't try to pretend that Antoine Dodson isn't hilarious. Attempted rape is not funny, but his response is glorious. As is the remix, which made me laugh so hard actual tears came to my eyes. And please, follow the guy on Twitter.

All of us like biblical names here, but don't name your baby Job.

Don't go through life without knowing these things. Stuff no one told me.

Don't leave your office vulnerable to foil wielding students. Professor returns from vacation, gets "foiled."

Don't leave your glove vulnerable to zombie popstars. It's my glove now.

I have a number of friends who have coffee names but luckily they memorize it...and haven't had to deal with running into Starbucks employees outside of the shop and having to respond to the wrong name. Don't like dealing with spelling your name all the time? Use a coffee name. And please, make it an awesome one like Batman. But then, don't forget it, or your coffee will get cold.

Don't look at this if Darth Vader gave you nightmares as a child. But if you love Star Wars, you'll think that this is AWESOME.

And don't look at this if you're vegan. Charlotte's Web is my favorite, I think.

Don't look at this if you hate tattoos. You know, people like Daisy's mother. And, um, Brownie.

Have a good Tuesday, everyone. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife!