Don't Forget To Enjoy Your Summer!

Happy Friday, y'all! If there is any justice, you've already left your office and will be reading this...sometime in the future.

As you may have noticed, we've been a bit light on the posting the last couple of weeks. I think summer - and Big Things In Life - have eaten our brains a bit, and so we are going to officially take a brief summer vacation. We'll be off next week, recharging our creative juices (and mixing a whole bunch of other metaphors), and will be back Monday the 16th, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and as full of opinions as ever.

In the meantime, feel free to peruse our older posts and if you have questions, comments, post suggestions, or just a link to share, hit us up on Facebook or Twitter, or shoot us an email. (Links to all those fun things are to your right.) If you're really jonesing for new content, all our favorite blogs are also linked on the right, and they are all full of wit, wisdom and sometimes, if you're really lucky, poop jokes.

Thanks for being so awesome, and we'll see you in a week!

Tuesday Quickies: Hide your Wife edition

Don't try to pretend that Antoine Dodson isn't hilarious. Attempted rape is not funny, but his response is glorious. As is the remix, which made me laugh so hard actual tears came to my eyes. And please, follow the guy on Twitter.

All of us like biblical names here, but don't name your baby Job.

Don't go through life without knowing these things. Stuff no one told me.

Don't leave your office vulnerable to foil wielding students. Professor returns from vacation, gets "foiled."

Don't leave your glove vulnerable to zombie popstars. It's my glove now.

I have a number of friends who have coffee names but luckily they memorize it...and haven't had to deal with running into Starbucks employees outside of the shop and having to respond to the wrong name. Don't like dealing with spelling your name all the time? Use a coffee name. And please, make it an awesome one like Batman. But then, don't forget it, or your coffee will get cold.

Don't look at this if Darth Vader gave you nightmares as a child. But if you love Star Wars, you'll think that this is AWESOME.

And don't look at this if you're vegan. Charlotte's Web is my favorite, I think.

Don't look at this if you hate tattoos. You know, people like Daisy's mother. And, um, Brownie.

Have a good Tuesday, everyone. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife!

A Potluck of Don'ts

(Photo for the five of you who claimed to be interested in my rugs, bless your hearts.)

Well, I still have nothing to talk about besides the baby and the house. So have some miscellaneous Don'ts from my week:

• Don't comment on my baby weight then hand me a plate of brownies, MOM. (aka "The sort of shit I spend hours praying I won't do to my daughter.")

• Don't count a visit to your parents as a vacation. It really, really isn't.

• Don't try to convince me that letting me take a shower counts as watching the baby. Especially when you hand her back to me while I'm still wearing a towel.

• Don't get between the cat and a moth.

• Don't think too much about how excited you are to find a new flavor of YoBaby. It will make you feel sad about your life.

• Don't laugh at the baby when she sticks the spoon in her hair instead of her mouth.

• Don't put the margarita glasses in the yard sale box. You will start craving margaritas even though you and Jose Cuervo haven't been on speaking terms since the Great Tequila Tuesday Experience of '00.

• Don't go to the internet for advice. In this case it's something baby-related, but I once called my doctor and said, "So I was reading on the internet," and she cut me off to say, "Oh my god, DON'T DO THAT." Sorry, Dr. S. You were right; I didn't have Venezuelan Hemorrhagic Fever.

• Don't watch PBS Kids while your child is napping. It will also make you feel sad about your life. (Even though Word Girl is awesome.)

• Don't go browsing on Etsy unless you're okay with finding something you love so much you must have it immediately. (Ahem.)